Tuesday, October 27, 2015



I'm feeling more dismal than indifferent now.

Motivation is at an all time low
Confidence is somewhat low
Fear is constantly present

Lately I've been ruminating a lot about the causes of my... unpleasant emotions.
I wouldn't say I'm feeling "depressed" because I feel that I would be another inconsiderate being hopping on the wagon of "Glamorising Mental Illnesses Because It Is A Trend And It Makes You Look Cool".
Those are one of the many internet trends that I strongly oppose and despise.
As I was saying before my minor rant of my dislike towards glamorising mental illnesses, 
I've been feeling rather melancholy but I'm trying to recall when did my mood start to deteriorate to pin down the exact date of it and decode the reasons behind it.
But it seems that I have been like this for too long and only became aware of my abnormally prolonged sadness too late to remember when did it all started.
Now I don't even know why do I feel this way- which makes me dwell further into desolation with an addition of fear.
Things that I used to enjoy doing like reading, drawing, taking photos and blogging currently do not really interest me.
Doing all these things no longer feel spontaneous.
Instead, it sometimes feels like I am obligated to do it just to show the people who are aware of my existence and myself that I am still the same person several months back.

Once again I have bored all of you with my complaints about my uneventful, dull life and my never-ending confusion towards my own emotions.
Those who read this, I appreciate your patience.
A huge thanks to those who actually bother typing my blog address into the search bar too!
(that was the first and only exclamation mark in this entire post lol, this is a first)
k bye 

eat cookies and get fat
watch mean girls and laugh till you crack
sincerely, viwern

1 comment:

Risny Tan said...

come meet me after class i belanja u ice cream to cheer u up hehehehe <3 don't be so saddddddd

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